When Netflix Met Cinemark... And Nothing Happened

So news today, on May The 4th Be (fill in your favorite), that Cinemark and a bunch of the smaller chains will unite for a 600-screen run for Zack Snyder's latest masterwork, Army of the Dead, opening in 17 days.

There are a lot of ways to look at this.

Of course, the expected "they said it, it must be true" writers are positioning it as some sort of "come to Jesus" moment for exhibition. Wrong. For the millionth time... Wrong!

I was kinda hoping they would be right, though I would come at it from the other side. I believe that Netflix will look to theatrical as a revenue stream before the half-decade is up. And I was hoping, from the headline, that this might be a start in that direction. But it isn't that either.

It's a one-week booking between Those Who Wish Me Dead/Spiral and Cruella/A Quiet Place II. (Speaking of which, when is Paramount going to start spending into this release? Or are they hoping it will fail at the box office and be better Par+ bait? Don't get it.)

All that really …