Volodymyr Zelenskyy's Oscar Speech

Amy Schumer either made a bad joke or broke the cone of silence that is meant to be respected by professionals when working with others. Either way, the story of The Academy rejecting her idea about President Zelenskyy being on the Oscar show has been way overplayed.

We were fortunate to get a draft copy of President Zelenskyy’s Oscar opening speech that never existed. We present it without comment.

DRAFT - 19 березня

Good evening, Hollywood.

You look so wonderful in all your tuxedos and gowns. The presidential laundry room was blown up last Thursday, so kindly excuse this shirt I’ve been wearing for 2 weeks.

Tonight you honor The Power of the Dog. I understand this. Putin wears the same chaps as that guy. I’d like to give him a rope.

Here in Kyiv, CODA stands for Corpses On Da Street.

Licorice Pizza was a fun romance. We understand running for your life down the street.

Don’t Look Up? That’s all I do these days! If you don’t look up, you can’t tell where the bombs are coming from.

Nightma…