THB Headline: One Idea For A Clickbait Story That Is Utterly Nonsensical.

My first reaction to this insane Variety story, “27 Great Movies That Flopped at the Box Office,” was uncertain. 27? What is the standard for “great?” What is the standard for “flop?”

So I clicked on the clickbait.

1. Three Thousand Years of Longing

2. Bros

3. Nightmare Alley

4. West Side Story

5. In the Heights

6. The Last Duel

7. The Many Saints of Newark

8. The Suicide Squad

9. The Rhythm Section

10. Ad Astra

11. Doctor Sleep

12. Annihilation

13. Destroyer

14. Blade Runner 2049

15. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

16. Children of Men

17. Fight Club

18. Grindhouse

19. Hugo

20. The Master

21. Inherent Vice

22. The Iron Giant

23. Mother!

24. Under the Skin

25. Warrior

26. Steve Jobs

27. Ali

First… why is this numbered? I have to stick with the idea that this was a random list and some enterprising layout person put numbers on it… because anything else suggests mind-altering drugs in use.

To my eye, about half of the movies qualify as being better than “good.” Some are quite bad. Seven of them are movies I actually love. Bros is the 2nd most egregious flop of the last 23 years? No… can’t actually think that. Billy Eichner doesn’t think that.

The mention of 23 years is because the list goes as far back as 1999, a random cut-off date (perhaps the average date of college graduation for current Variety staffers?). Do you think that anyone who saw this piece goes out remembered that The Hollywood Reporter almost lost its ad relationship with Fox because the then-editor, Anita Busch, made up stories about Fight Club’s reception at its premiere and did an editorial attacking the movie that was in the news section, not marked as an editorial? It happened!

Fight Club was also the straw that broke Bill Mechanic’s back at Fox, since Rupert Murdoch hated and could not understand the film. Mechanic had delivered the #1 film for 3 years in a row (1995-1997) and 1998 had There’s Something About Mary, which was a massive hit with a $370 million worldwide gross, followed by by big hits (Dr Dolittle, The X-Files) and a Best Picture nominee, The Thin Red Line. The studio had a very mediocre 1999 financially, except for #1 grosser Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace… but Tom Sherak got credit for the relationship with Lucas so that didn’t save Bill.

For me, the most disappointing box office flops of 1999 were Titus, Jawbreaker, The Limey, Sweet & Lowdown, Dick, Election, and Go. Many would include Summer of Sam. They each grossed less than $20 million domestic. There is not one of them I wouldn’t happily watch today or anytime. I am comfortable saying that at least 4 of these titles would be considered as being amongst the top 20 films of that decade.

Between $20 million and $30 million, there is also a remarkable list with Magnolia, Being John Malkovich, The Iron Giant, Girl, Interrupted, and The Insider. That’s Anderson, Jonze, Bird, Mangold, and Mann… if you didn’t know.

$30m - $40m: Man on the Moon and Fight Club.

And there were critically-embraced films that grossed over $50 million that were seen as flops too: The Hurricane, Eyes Wide Shut, Three Kings, and Bowfinger.

That’s 19 really good to truly great movies that have been branded flops from just that one year.

There are even movies from that year that still are seen as box office disappointments after grossing over $100 million domestic: Sleepy Hollow, Wild Wild West, and Stuart Little. Not to mention The Matrix, which was released on March 31 and didn’t make nearly as much as it should have with a $464 million worldwide gross.

Even the great Fight Club was a super-hard R in 1999 and was somewhat of a puzzle movie. I fought with Roger Ebert about the film for months - he refused to debate it on the show - until he (I think) came around after I compared it to The Graduate. It is overtly violent and harsh while The Graduate’s violence is quietly emotional… but it’s basically the same story. There were a whole series of movies at the time about the idea that we were losing ourselves in stuff and that we had to fight to find our passions again.

I hoped that Fight Club would find $70 million or so at the box office at the time. But it was a good object lesson on selling movies. Se7en could be as brutal and violent as you liked… and that is what the audience for that movie wanted. Fight Club was demanding of an audience in a very different way. Audiences were challenged to work out the clues. And even when the truths were shown plainly, many still didn’t follow exactly what had happened. Smart people don’t go to movies to feel dumb in the end. Or to fight about what really happened. It excites the hell out of me. But I am not part of the mainstream in that way.

There have been no films this year (2022) that I would classify as flops having grossed over $100 million domestic.

But films distributed on over 4000 screens? $95 million for Fantastic Beasts 3? $74 million for Morbius? $43 million for Don’t Worry Darling?

3000 screens and under $21 million? Bros, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Amsterdam.

2000 - 2999 screens and under $21 million? Father Stu, Bodies Bodies Bodies, 3000 Years of Longing, Men.

1000 - 1999 screens and under $12 million? RRR, Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris, Vengeance, Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul.

I must admit that the only film in these groups that I really want to see again is Men. I will watch the George Miller because I love George and his work and I’m not sure quite how it went wrong… but I think it went wrong.

For me, the “quality” films that came up short on the business side were lower profile than those already mentioned. Can one really call Marcel the Shell with Shoes On a flop because it only grossed $6.3 million? Crimes of the Future, with $2.5m, which is a bit of a mess, but still sticks with me? The Worst Person in the World with $3 million? Sundown? Triangle of Sadness? Petite Maman?

Going back to 2021, what is Variety’s logic in claiming The Suicide Squad underperformed with $56 million for some reason aside from the film when it opened domestically on August 6 and Free Guy opened a week later, grossing $122 million domestic? Can’t be the COVID (one date vs the other). Might just be a movie with a narrow interest base. To my eye, Free Guy is the film that was disappointment at the box office. It should have done $250 million domestic and over $600 million worldwide. I blame that on COVID and a degree of Disney theatrical ambivalence.

Both movies - and Shang-Chi and Bond and others - should have done at least 50% better than they did in theaters. That’s on COVID. But was The Suicide Squad a flop by the standards of that moment? Not to me.

Looking at their list - and mine, really - there are all kinds of reasons why these titles missed. More than a few are about the movies themselves. Just because you liked it doesn’t mean everyone is drawn to see the film.

Was Black Widow doing $184 million domestic a flop? Apparently, Mrs. Scarlett’s lawyers think so. Jungle Cruise at $120 million? Eternals at $164 million?

As regular readers will know, there was no bigger misstep to me in 2021 than Encanto’s release being under-supported by Disney, catching fire a month in… just as the film left theaters. $96 million domestic cannot be seen as a win.

Do the good folks at Variety not think King Richard was very good? Because $15.1 million is a pretty big flop for Big Willie Time, pre-slap… even in COVID.

Do they think that Last Night in Soho grossing $10.1 million domestic is less of a quality flop than $10.8 million for (sadly broken) The Last Duel or the $30 million grossing In The Heights?

Oscar-winner Nomadland grossed $3.7 million. Belfast was under $10 million. The Father grossed $2.1 million.

There are so many ways to determine success and failure and the stench of perception. I’m not suggesting that Variety or anyone else should be required to offer an objective standard for “great movies that flopped.” But a touch of consistency seems appropriate.

Their listicle is either way too long or way too short.

I love Warrior… but I also love Young Adult and The Tree of Life. I covered all three like a blanket that year. They all grossed between $13 million and $16.5 million domestic. So how does one choose?

One doesn’t.