THB #523: The 4 Questions (of Showbiz)
Each year we gather and pretend that Easter and Passover are not really tethered to the same damned pagan harvest holiday and that they are really about Jesus rising and Jews following Charlton Heston through a cool water ride at Disneyland onto Venice Beach. One is all about ham and the other all about flatbread.
The tradition of Passover is to tell the story. The family gathers and the story is told… same story every year… but the brisket is good and it’s nice to see who is walking less well each year.
So I offer my slice of my showbiz “Ha! Good, huh?” to you, focused on The 4 Questions, traditionally read by the youngest in the room. But in Showbiz, Botox keeps us from knowing who is eldest or youngest. So…
As we tell the story of Showbiz, we think about it from all angles. Our unwritten bible of absolutes speaks of four different types of children who might react differently to the Annual Industry Consideration. It is our job to make our story accessible to all the members of our community, so we think about how we might best reach each type of child:
What does the wise child say?
The wise child asks, “Is this making any sense to you? The industry spends and creates hundreds of billions of dollars a year, yet all these very smart people are improvising and can’t seem to find a way back to the level of success that they successfully shared for decades with slight variations?"
Discuss with that child that that script is never going to sell, they are in the wrong business, and they need to go back and get that graduate degree from M.I.T. so they can express their unique and unproven opinions as though they were absolute fact. And when they are wrong, know how to pretend they never said it.
What does the thoughtless child say?
The thoughtless child asks, "Why the hell are you bothering me with your show biz questions? I’m in the middle of a game!"
By playing games rather than engaging with humans in a direct way, the child is not including him or herself in the community. Because he takes himself out of the community and misses the point, say to this child: “Sorry, honey… can I get you some more boba? That flavor you like…,” knowing that they will either be very rich by the time you retire and let you live in their guest house or end up living in your basement at 47. And who the hell wants jelly balls at the bottom of their drink?!?!
The simple child asks, "What is this?"
To this child, answer plainly: “I don’t know how we got 4 subscriptions to Peacock and can’t get on Netflix either. Is there an the online manual? Or we can call Cousin James… he knows how this stuff works. The salesman told me that all I needed to do was by and AppleTV and it would be easy!”
What about the child who doesn’t know how to ask a question?
Help this child by telling the story of when the Jews went to Los Angeles. They might be very interested… certainly more than the Academy Museum has been. Explain how we went from radio to movies to black & white televisions the size of your phone today to 25” Trinitrons, to BetaMax to VHS to DVD to flat screens to Streaming. Tell them how they don’t make them like they used to.
Then wake them up and put something on that you think is worth watching and try to inspire them to try new things. We are surrounded by greatness… and we each get to decide what greatness is to us.
And now, The Four Questions…
1. In all other years we develop shows in every genre for every platform. Why, in this era, do we only obsess on Streaming?
2. In all other years we have made movies of any kind for theatrical release and found expected and unexpected highs and lows that led to strong results. Why, in this era, do we make mostly bitter IP?
3. In all other years, we dipped into a simple maze of release windows that the public could follow and choose where to invest in at whatever window fit their interest. Why, in this era, do we dip the product into so many possible platforms so many times in so many ways that no one can find what they want to watch, even after the marketing has compelled them to look for it?
4. In all other years, the industry has moved forward looking straight ahead, sitting tall and marching forward. Why, in this era, do we feel like we are 80-year-olds sitting in bean bags, stuck, unable to get up or get comfortable, fearful that we will never escape?
Until tomorrow…