THB #385: Strike Before Closing (Satire On A Joke of a Commentary)

We’re Ready For You To Give Up

by Hedda Parsons III
Co-Clickbait-Producer-In-Chief

Recently, I have heard in Hollywood from really important people who have no vested interest in how the strikes end, griping about how the studios are the innocent victims of the commie writers who have infected the stupid actors with delusions of paying mortgages.

I have no bias in the matter. My job is in no way connected to the revenues we create from awards, charging more for a cover that no one really pays attention to than a WGA writer can make working at scale for 6 months. My bosses are uninterested in getting this settled before we start taking losses for Oscar season that make our losses on Emmy season look like a single picketer on Lankershim.

So trust me when I tell you, it’s not about who is right or wrong on any of the issues. What matters is that this hasn’t been settled by those lazy union people who are walking around in front of studios for months in 80+ degree heat, lazing around like B…