THB #356: Haunted Mansion

There are few things more frustrating to me, critically and personally, than a movie where all the ingredients are there, the idea is viable, and it all just falls flat.

I was very hopeful about Haunted Mansion. I like Justin Simien as a filmmaker and as a human. The cast is loaded with interesting, iconoclastic actors who I have enjoyed over the years… even young Chase Dillon, who was so great in Barry Jenkins’ The Underground Railroad. The idea of all these crazy characters caught in a haunted mansion… even better, THE haunted mansion… great. Trailers are good. Ads are good. Tag on Jamie Lee Curtis in a crystal ball and a surprise cameo by Winona Ryder that ended up disclosed in the marketing.

I wish the problems and pleasures of this film were more complex (see: Barbie). But what is set up is a very familiar story structure. For whatever reasons, that wasn’t enough for whoever leaned into this story.

So what went so very wrong?

After thinking about Haunted Mansion for a while, it occurred to me that the most successful recent version of this structural idea was Jumanji and Jumanji 2. Take 4 central characters, drawn in a very distinct and consistent way, and throw them into an unexpected world in which they need to figure out the rules to survive, resolving some of their individual and group problems as a result of the journey. $995 million at the box office, entertaining the world.

The much, much, much smaller version of a similar structure already came out this summer. The Blackening. They had 8 distinctly drawn characters in a murder house. Not an effects movie. 87% on Rotten Tomatoes… but no one went. $18 million total.

Not The Blackening… Netflix’s 2023 film, “We Have A Ghost”

Step One for Haunted Mansion - Establish the backdrop.